Why do we fail so badly at practicing self care

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Did you notice how we easily fail at practicing self care even though we know how important it is? Lets face it, practicing self care isn’t always easy to incorporate it into our daily routine.

Here, we’ll look at why we generally fail when it comes to practicing self care and the main things holding us back.

It is often perceived as selfish

practicing self care isnt' selfish
Photo by Madison Inouye from Pexels

One of the main reasons we fail to take care of ourselves is because we feel it is selfish. Most of the time you feel guilty when you take time to focus on you. Sometimes, you may worry what other people think, or that you are a terrible parent for not focusing solely on your children’s needs.

It is a total myth that self care is selfish. In fact, it can help you to be a better parent, friend, spouse and relative. The more you take care of yourself, the easier you’ll find it to take care of others. And by taking care of yourself, you’ll also show your children the importance of self care. Teaching them to take care of their own needs is a crucial life skill that’s going to help them to grow up to be happier adults.

It requires effort

You must admit that the fact is that self care does take some level of effort in the beginning. Why? Because if you aren’t used to making self care a priority, you’re going to need to make quite a few changes in your routines to make it a habit.

Honestly, trying to come up with a self care plan can most of the times feels like a chore, which makes it easy to put it off. However, there are ways to reduce that effort. For example, focusing on one thing you want to improve at a time can really help.

Perhaps you’d like to start working out more? Try to schedule time to exercise as soon as you wake up, that can be a great start of your day. Maybe you’re looking to drink more water, then focus on that goal first.

If you break down your self care tasks into several smaller ones, it makes your life much easier, and it is reducing a lot of the effort involved.

Here are some posts about self care that might interest you:
10 amazing everyday rituals to get your mood boosting
How to balance practicing personal self care when you have a busy life
Creative ways for you to practice self care

Different approaches work for different people

Every person in this world is different, which means that we enjoy and dislike different things. When you first take a look at examples of practicing self care, you’ll find a lot of them relate to things like reading a book or taking a hot bubble bath. But, not everyone enjoys these types of activities so they might feel self care really isn’t for them.

Self care isn’t just bubble baths, yoga, and meditation. It is anything that relaxes and takes care of you. So, if you find going for a run is a more effective way of feeling good, that would be classed as a self care task.

If you find one self care approach isn’t working, why not try something else. Self care should be personal to your own needs. These are the most common reasons people fail to take good care of themselves. It can be difficult overcoming the initial barriers to self care. However, once you fully understand what and how important it is, you’ll find it much easier to stick to a self care routine.


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  1. Everything you wrote is so true. There can be so many blocks to showing ourselves love and doing some self-care. I find energy levels for me is a huge barrier (currently experiencing a very stressful time that takes most of my mental and emotional energy). I wrote a post on my site called ‘Self-Care Tips For When You Don’t Have The Energy To Do Anything’ because I found it such an issue — I’m glad it’s not only me that struggles!

  2. Nice post! Well, my self care is a bit different.. If things aren’t going well I usually put everything down for a while and do nothing or contemplate on it. It helped me this way especially when Im anxious. Thanks for sharing this :))

  3. Self-care is really important, but I do struggle with time to do it sometimes. Knitting is one of my self-care activities, it really relaxes me.

  4. Definitely an important read. Self-care should be everyone’s number one priority. I have been working in the office since day 1 of the pandemic and have been working overtime to cover for people who are positive, self-isolating or shielding and it definitely took its toll towards the end of the year. Just when things started to get better and I started focusing on myself and my own work I got told for 23 years of age I have slight high blood pressure (but it not too alarming) and I’m now currently on my own second self-isolation as I am now positive. Luckily, I haven’t got it as bad, as I think this could be my 2nd time having it. Anyway, it just shows that you need to look after yourself first and foremost x

  5. Definitely worth reading. Everyone’s top priority needs to be self-care. Since the beginning of the epidemic, I have been working in the office and putting in extra hours to cover for those who are optimistic, isolating themselves, or shielding, and by the end of the year, it had taken a toll. The news that I have a slight high blood pressure for a 23-year-old (albeit it’s not very concerning) came just as things were beginning to get better and I was concentrating on myself and my own job. I’m now on my own second self-isolation because I am now feeling better. Fortunately, I haven’t got it as terrible; I believe this may be my second bout with it. Anyway, it only demonstrates that you need to look after yourself first and foremost 

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